Magwitch Pyke Reports

Pangolin North East correspondent, Magwitch Pyke, reports from just north of Whitby where homes are ready to fall into the North Sea.

“That’s right Kerry – thanks to recent torrential rain and recently upgraded insurance arrangements, several houses have slid down the already dangerous cliffs into the sea. I have with me Reg and Rita Dracula whose families have been in the area for quite some time. Reg – I understand that you and Rita were enjoying your evening meal in front of the television when you noticed something was wrong.

(Reg) That’s right. Black puddings – made of pig’s blood y’know – best you can get these days and Rita and me never miss Corrie, then suddenly the screen goes blank and we’re knee deep in water"

So you actually travelled down the cliff inside your doomed house?

Certainly did. Ruined the black pudding and the telly’s all waterlogged.

So what does the future hold for you now?

We’re off to Rita’s sister’s in town. She’s got a 48inch plasma screen telly and her new bloke works at the pig farm near Staithes.

Thanks Reg – and with that, it's back to the studio.”